On November 4, 2008, Barack Obama was elected the 44th president of the United States. It was one of the happiest and most memorable moments of my life. Unfortunately, the happiness was short-lived. That same night, CA Proposition 8 – eliminating the right of same-sex couples to marry as a CA constitutional amendment – passed by a margin of 52.24% to 47.76%.
For the first time in my adult life, my civil rights had been stripped away by a majority vote.
I’d attended the No on Prop 8 gathering with a guy I was dating. As the TV monitors showed the national election results, there was a feeling of jubilation as we headed toward having our first African-American president. But there was also trepidation as they showed California’s election results, and the Yes votes on Prop 8 were leading.
Everyone held out hope that the promise of an Obama presidency surely wouldn’t come hand-in-hand with such a punitive action by my fellow Californians. But we were wrong.
Though ultimately ruled unconstitutional, the psychic damage was done. For the first time, I completely understood why and how the Supreme Court of the United States is the last line of defense for the minority vs majority.
The following day, I had one of the most unpleasant discussions I’ve ever had with my mother. Don’t get me wrong. I love my mother dearly, and she is truly a great friend. But in the joyful emotions of an Obama win, she couldn’t understand my despondence over Prop 8. Our conversation did not end well.
She later apologized, and we have grown closer since that episode. Her views changed when she saw the hurt that was caused first by a vote that stripped my rights and then by her indifference to the pain inflicted on someone she loves. Such has been the shift for many in this country regarding same-sex marriage.
What people wanted to believe was merely a simple “defense of marriage” was really the stripping of civil rights for a swath of Americans who are as worthy as anyone else of the right to love freely, and live productive and useful lives.
The tide eventually began to turn. And when the Supreme Court upheld the lower courts’ decisions in Obergefell v. Hodges, the LGBTQ community finally received marriage equality. (And, as I’m reminded by my heterosexual friends, the ability to suffer through contentious divorces, as well.)
However, that may soon change. The Supremes recently declined to hear the case of Kim Davis, a KY county clerk who was sued when she refused to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Along with that dismissal came a startling statement on the initial Obergefell decision by justices Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito.
Long story short, both feel it needs to be fixed because it brands people such as Davis ‘religious bigots’ and strikes at the heart of religious liberty. Amy Coney Barrett, the current nominee to the high court, has also previously stated her disagreement with the decision. It’s not a stretch to say that in the current punitive climate of our country, this could have dire consequences for marriage equality.
Nearly twelve years removed from that horrific Prop 8 victory, I’m again facing the possibility that my civil rights will be stripped away. This time it’s vastly different. After Prop 8, the courts correctly carried out their purpose of protecting the rights of the minority from the majority.
If the Supreme Court now decides to take up the issue of marriage equality through the backdoor of another case, I am all-but-certain that my rights will be stripped again: this time without recourse.
When I discuss the current political situation, I always mention my fear of having my rights stripped away in the name of ‘religious freedom’. That fear may now become a reality thanks to those two stolen seats. Even a Biden win may not be enough to stop the damage to over half a million LGBTQ families.
I wasn’t initially planning on writing about this issue. But I’m doing so tonight because of Matthew Shepard.
Twenty-two years ago (October 6), Matthew was beaten and left for dead. He was targeted for the beating by his attackers because he was gay. They even used the ‘gay panic’ defense as a justification for their crime.
Though they were found guilty, I’m sure that Matthew’s parents would rather have him here and still in their lives.
So I’m writing this for Matthew. I’m writing this for all who have died and suffered as we trudged the road to a fragile equality which could soon be stripped away.
In closing, I’d like to add a special note for Clarence Thomas. Justice Thomas is married to a white woman. His marriage was made possible by the 1967 ruling in Loving v Virginia which struck down laws banning interracial marriages; laws that were created by religious liberty bigots.
My note to Justice Thomas?
“Fuck you, Clarence. Fuck you!”